Spirit
by twilight-moon09
Summary: Leah has to win the fight of her life to save everything she holds dear. In the end, she'll see the way things should have been. AH, AU, Rated M for Language, Violence, and Suggestive Themes. Some Religion
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I own nothing!**

**Songs for this story are:**

**Vivian Greene - Tired**

**Carrie Underwood - Jesus Take The Wheel --- (Kind of the inspiration for the story, really.)**

**Destiny's Child - Through With Love**

**Frank Sinatra - I'll Be Home For Christmas --- (Yeah, I guess it kind of is a christmas story.)**

**I really hope you enjoy it, please review!!**

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Leah's POV**

I was running around frantically, counting and checking again and again in my head, trying to make sure I had everything we would need. I glanced at the clock on the wall in our cozy little kitchen, the housewarming gift from my Nana before she passed away. It was 2:05 in the afternoon. We didn't have a lot of time, time was running out.

Come on Leah, Come on, you have get your stuff…get some sweats and pajamas. Pajamas! I forgot the pajamas!

Sprinting back into our bedroom, I ran around our large king bed to my dresser to grab some pajamas out the bottom drawer. It was then I noticed just how many of his shirts were in there, how many of them I wore to bed, and I was disgusted with them.

I ran back into the living room, and stuffed them into the duffel bag, running down the rest of my mental checklist. Okay, I have my facial cloths and everything out of the bathroom, it's in the bag, I should check if I got all the baby stuff…

Upon mentioning baby stuff, I glanced at my little angel sitting in his car seat on the couch next to the duffel bag. He was watching me run around the house like a chicken with its head cut off, occasionally laughing when I ran into something or stubbed my toe. I would curse and hop around like a maniac and he would think it was hilarious. He smiled up at me, giggling and clapping his hands. I stared down into his beautiful hazel eyes, like mine. He was so handsome.

"What's so funny, huh?" I asked, tickling his stomach which made him dance and squirm in his seat happily.

I took off into the nursery, making sure I got everything out the drawers, everything out the crib and the closet. Check.

I ran back and spun in a full circle in the middle of the living room, making sure there was nothing else left.

Nope.

I took a deep breath taking in the room one last time, the place I'd called home for the last 6 months. It was small, only the master bedroom and the nursery, but it was perfect for us. I didn't like it in the beginning, but of course, I gave in because he wanted it so badly.

**_Him_.**

Just thinking about _him_ made me scowl and made my stomach turn. I looked at the picture we took as a family on the table, and resisted the urge to break it. If I did, which I so wanted to, it would be a telltale giveaway and I wouldn't have time enough to escape. Everything has to look exactly the same, with only a few things missing. Yet, not enough that he'll notice it in time.

I walked over to the picture, picking up the very one next to it. It was senior prom, and we looked so happy together_. I_ looked so happy. I didn't have a care in the world, everything was perfect, and I was going to get my dream life: the perfect husband, a family, and a house to grow old in. I looked like a totally different person back then, I smiled so much more, I dressed cuter than I do now, I was just…better. And he was perfect—the perfect boyfriend, the perfect friend, the perfect lover, the perfect everything. I guess I should've realized that **nothing **is ever perfect.

That just feels like it was ages ago…_lifetimes_ ago…it's hard to believe it's only been two years. **Never** had I imagined my life would end up this way.

This isn't me…I'm not myself anymore…I used to be Leah Orenda Clearwater…my _name _means great spirit…so why did I become such a door mat? A push over? A pity case.

I miss _me_…I want me back. And I'm _going_ to get _me_ back.

I quickly picked up the duffel bag and ran it outside to my car, it was just a Chevy Cobalt, and stuffed it in the trunk. I put my purse on the front seat, and patted my pocket to make sure my keys were there.

Running back into the house, I saw the baby was fine, just waiting for me to get back, and everything was in place. With one more glance over, I noticed that one thing was missing, if not the most important thing.

I gave the baby a quick kiss on the cheek and ran into our cramped bedroom for the last time, to retrieve the letter folded and written very neatly. I picked it up and looked at it in my hand, asking myself one last time if I was doing the right thing.

I looked over at a picture on his dresser of him holding the baby smiling big for the camera. Our son looked so much like him, it wasn't even funny. I'm not particularly sure _how_ I feel about that anymore. I love my baby and I would never trade him for anything in the world, but now…now his _father_ is a different story.

The picture sparked the memory of the day I snapped it.

_Right afterward we got into an argument over something really petty, and he slapped me. It wasn't the first time he'd hit me, but it was the first time he'd done it in front of our son. He told me to go in the bedroom and wait till he said I could come out because I needed a time-out, treating me like a child in grade school. He wasn't always this controlling, but after the baby was born, he proposed, we moved in together, and everything started to change. He liked things to be on schedule. He liked his house clean, he liked me to be where I told him I would be and doing what he said to do, he liked his meals on time, his baths on time, and he hated whenever the baby's diaper wasn't changed—even if it had just happened. I really got it good when that happened. He started controlling what I ate, where I went, how much money I could spend, how I dressed, sometimes even how I thought. Not only had he became physically abuse, but he was verbally abusive too. Where had the old me gone? I would've never taken this, from_ anyone. _Yet, I took it wordlessly from him. I didn't argue anymore, I didn't fight. And I started to believe him. All the mean, hurtful things he said to me and told me I was. And the way he treated me…like I was his slave._

_He couldn't get the baby stop crying after I walked into the bedroom…_

_I waited in there for nearly an hour, and when I was finally tired of waiting I walked back out into the living room. He was sitting on the couch, bouncing the baby on his lap. I knew he could tell I was in the room, but he was ignoring me for the moment._

_The baby was just smiling and giggling and making spit bubbles, clapping his hands happily as he played with his dad. When he smiled, he looked just like his father. So much, now it scared me. This time, this time was different from all the other times he'd held him. This time, he had a crazed look in his eye and a deranged smile on his face, which scared the life out of me. He wouldn't hurt my baby, would he? No, not my baby…_

_As I watched him, tears started to fall from my eyes. I had no idea what he was thinking; all I knew is that I wanted my baby as far away from him as possible._

_The tears were falling rapidly now. "My baby…please…don't touch him…give him to me, please…please give him…" I cried._

_His head snapped over at me and his wicked smile grew even wider. "What do you want?" He asked in a disturbingly mocking tone, before holding the baby up. "Oh, you want_ him?"_ He said teasingly. The baby started clapping and laughing when he finally saw me._

_I nodded in response to his question, my bottom lip quivering._

_"Oh." He said, before placing the baby back in his arms snuggling and ticking his stomach. "Nah, you can't have him." He finished._

_I held my arms out for him, as I slowly approached the both of them on the couch. I was crying so hard, that my vision was getting blurry. "Please, give me my baby…please." I sniffed._

_He looked up at me with cold eyes, and a stone face. His tone was dead and murderous and the venom in it made me flinch. "No, see that's where you're mistaken. This is_ **my** _baby. **MY** son."_

I snapped out of the memory shaking my head, not wanting to relive the rest of what happened that awful night. It was that memory that made up my mind.

I walked back into the living room and placed the note in between some of the letters that came in the mail today, and placed them neatly in the center of the coffee table in front of the couch. Where he wanted it placed, waiting for him everyday. I didn't even get to look at the bills or open the mail. Even mail that came addressed to me. He told me nobody really wanted to talk to me because I wasn't that important.

He would read the mail about ten minutes within arriving in the door, as was his daily routine. Speaking of routines and times, I glanced at the clock by the TV and it was 2:15. I had to get out of here.

I knew that was it, so bundled the baby in his seat and ran back to the hall closet to grab my jacket.

When I ran back in the living room there he stood, in front of the coffee table, with the mail in one hand, and my letter in the other. The front door was closed, and I wondered how I hadn't heard him come in. And what was he doing home early? He never gets in until 2:30.

He was supposed to come home and we were supposed to be gone.


	2. Chapter 2

My heart was beating wildly in my chest and loudly in my ear, making all the blood in my veins pump faster and I felt a little lightheaded with fear. No, no, no, this was _not_ supposed to happen this way.

He read my letter out loud, as if to gain more of an understanding of it.

"_**Dear Sam,**_

_**I love you with all my heart and what we had together was wonderful, but what we have now is not love. The man I fell in love with—my first love—was kind, sweet, gentle, and caring. But he is not the man I'm with now. The man I'm with now doesn't really care about me. How many times are you going apologize about the same thing? About hitting me? And how many times do you expect me to take you back? I thought maybe if I started praying to God again like when I was a little girl, when my father used to pray with me, that we would get better and things would get better. But when I would pray the answer would always come back to me, being done again and again. I was just too stupid to accept that it was truth. I was just too blind, naïve, and in denial to see it. It's not the fact that I don't love you anymore, because I will always love you. If not for anything else, I love you and I'm forever grateful to you for giving me my beautiful son. But I have to break this bad habit of life with you. It's not right, and it's killing me to the point that I can't take it anymore. I loved you so much that I was too blind to see past all the pain you were causing me…causing our family…causing our household…causing our lives. I loved you so much I went against my first mind and the right things that I know I should have done, and put myself in this situation I'm in today. I lied to everyone for you…I gave up my friends and family and dreams…I even lied to my mother for you. But when it's all said in done, what have you really done for me? Nothing, but cause me pain, heartache, and grief. When we first fell in love, you told me you would always protect me. But now the question is…how can you protect me from yourself? I love you with my entire heart baby, but I can't live like this anymore. I can't let my baby live like this. I have to want better for myself, and better for my son. I have to change it. I have to leave.**_

_**Love, Leah"**_

He looked up to me with hurt and fire in his eyes. I don't think he was breathing or reacting quite yet…he was still processing. And I was frozen like I was seeing the ghost of Taha Aki.

"Sam…" I whispered, unable to say or do anything else in my fright.

"What is this about?" He asked. "I…I…I…" I stammered, unable to form complete sentences. Hell, I was unable to form complete thoughts.

"What is this about Leah? You're leaving me?" He said, and I sighed hard.

"Sam…you…you weren't supposed…supposed to come home until later…" I stuttered, unsure exactly how my voice was working.

"So you were going to leave while I was gone?"

"I'm sorry." I apologized. Why, I couldn't tell you if I wanted to.

"I thought you loved me Lee-Lee…" He said softly, and my eyes shot quickly up to his. For a second, he looked and sounded like boy I fell in love with my junior year in high school. The boy I gave my virginity to. The boy I was willing to spend the rest of my life with. The man who held me in his strong arms apologizing after hurting me, be it with his hands or his words, late at night in our bed apologizing over and over again telling me how much he loved me. Whispering how much I meant to him. Pledging how he couldn't live without me.

"I do…it's just—"

"Then why are you leaving me!" He yelled, and the sweetness and tenderness was gone.

I jumped back because his mood swing caught me by surprise, and my tears started falling freely now. I was stuttering again.

"I…I can't—"

"I can't believe this shit! I work all day, I provide for you and my son like a good man should provide for his family, and you try and leave me? You try and take my son from me? Huh? Answer me!" He screamed.

I felt my back hit the wall as he yelled; I hadn't even felt my legs moving as I cowered away from him.

"I can't live like this!"

"Live like what?" He screamed, taking a step forward. "Happy? Because that's what I thought we were Leah! I thought we were fucking happy!"

The baby started crying from all the yelling, but he wasn't even paying attention now. He started walking closer to me with every word he spoke.

"How could you do this? Just leave me a fucking note and shit! You think you're leaving? Huh? You're not going fucking anywhere! You're not taking my son fucking anywhere! You're **NEVER** leaving me, do you fucking understand me?"

"You don't control me Sam!" I yelled, with confidence I'd mustered from Taha Aki knows where. "I can't fucking live like this!"

He was even more pissed because I'd spoken if, if that was even possible. "Bitch, did you just raise your voice while fucking speaking to me? Did you just fucking curse at me too? Leah, have you lost your motherfucking mind? Get up!" He screamed while the wild look in his eye danced. I was scared to find out what that meant. I hadn't even felt myself slide to the ground against the wall.

I shook my head with my eyes closed, wishing me and my baby were anywhere else in the world, except here.

"I said GET UP!"

Slowly I rose to my feet, expecting the absolute worse, and that's when the absolute worse happened. As soon as I stood to my full height against the wall, he punched me directly in the nose. It was broken, I heard and _felt_ it crack. I'm sure the _neighbors_ heard it crack. Funny, because they never heard _this _before. And even if they did, they pretended that they didn't. I think _everyone_ was truly scared of Sam.

"See what you made me do Leah?" He yelled as I fell to the ground holding my face. He kicked me in the stomach.

"Why the fuck do you do this shit? Why do you make me like this? Huh? Do you think I like being this way?"

He pulled me by my hair and slammed my head into the wall. That was the final blow, and I was unconscious.

When I woke up again, I looked at the clock. I was only out for about 20 minutes, which was amazing, considering last time I didn't wake up until the next day.

He was standing over me and squatted down so we were eye level. He spoke in a stern voice.

"Okay…I'm going to give you one chance to explain yourself."

I didn't answer right away, still trying to shake the stars from my vision, and I wasn't responding quickly enough for him.

"Speak!" He yelled, and it made me jump. Tears started falling again as I cried.

"Sam…baby…please don't do anything…I'm sorry…please—"

"Wrong answer." He said with a clenched jaw.

He slapped me, and round two started. Except this time was different. This time, it felt like more of a fight to the death. I'd never pushed him this far before, so I'd never seen him get this angry. He started stomping me in the stomach as he yelled at me.

"I mean…I know you used to try and do little sneaky shit like try and stash money away…buy little plane tickets and shit…but you never went as far as packing up my son and ACTUALLY trying to _leave_ me…bitch are you _crazy_?" He screamed directly into my ear.

I was hunched over on my side now, spitting up blood.

"Sam…why…" I said through a strained voice, I could feel the blood filling my mouth and throat.

"Because you made me like this! Everything is your fucking fault Leah!" He yelled, kicking me again.

I struggled to get to my feet. "Look at me…look at what you're doing…I am you're fiancé Sam…"

"No you're not! Because if you were you wouldn't be trying to leave me…and…wait! Why am I explaining myself to you?" He asked himself before smacking me down again. "Shut the fuck up! I see I have to teach you some respect!"

He stooped down to grip my throat and brought his mouth to my ear. "And this will be a lesson you will never forget Leah, I can assure you that." He said in an icy tone.

Before he could even demonstrate the power of his words, I punched him in the jaw. I don't know where it came from, or what forced me to do it. I was just tired of this. Tired of getting beat down. He stepped back, completely stunned that I had hit him back. Suddenly, he didn't seem so big and bad anymore. I slowly got to my feet clutching my stomach, and he just watched, still in shock.

"Okay Sam," I said, before spitting out a mouth full of blood. "Here's how it's going down. One of us is not leaving this house conscious. One of us will be leaving this godforsaken shit-hole in that nice box on wheels that reads EMT with the pretty flashing lights and sirens. And when they get in that box, I'm going to tell you--they won't be living for long. And I'm going to tell you right now, I have every intention of keeping the breath in my body. It's almost as strong as the urge to take the breath out of yours." I said with venom.

He looked at me incredulously. "You won't make it to the door!" He spat before charging forward like a bull towards a red cape.

He tackled me driving his shoulder into my stomach—which, by the way, already felt like I'd had a bus driven straight into it—and knocked all the wind out of me that I had left. I kneed him and he stumbled back as I slid to the floor clutching my stomach again.

He crawled over to me and started punching my legs till I kneed him in the groin, and he fell over holding his manhood. He threw up a little, and I laughed.

I shakily stood on my feet, and spit the blood in my mouth on him.

I stood next to his head as he rocked back and forth like a turtle, holding himself and whining like a little girl.

"Okay, I can do this." I said playfully, as I licked my index finger and held it to the air as if to test the wind. I thought back to my championship game on the soccer team my senior year when I made the winning goal. I sidestepped as if to line up my kick right, and then readied myself.

I waited until the time was right, until he rolled his head back over towards my feet, and kicked him in the mouth like I was in the NFL. Secretly I'd always wanted to be, I had a great kick. But girls weren't allowed to play on the football team, so I settled for soccer. Truthfully, everyone knew I was tough enough to hold my own though. At least, back then I was.

His head flew over as blood spewed from his mouth, and I lifted my arms in celebration.

"GOAL!" I screamed in excitement.

I looked down at him and laughed.

"Samuel baby, you should clean yourself up. You're getting blood everywhere." He coughed up a little bit more as if to emphasize my point. I squatted down so he could hear me loud and clear. "I promise you. No more will you haunt my life. I'm done with you, and if I ever see or hear from you again…it'll be the worse mistake you've ever made in your life. No, strike that…the second worst mistake. The first was underestimating me."

I roughly grabbed his jaw so he could look me dead in the eyes, with his bloodshot ones.

"And if you EVER come near my son again, **I'll kill you**." I roughly through his face before landing a final kick to his stomach and I started limping down the hallway. I felt good, I felt free, and I was starting to feel like myself again.


	3. Chapter 3

That is, until I felt something grab my feet causing me to fall. I looked back and there he was, all bloodied, holding on to my ankle with the grip of death.

I kicked him in his nose with all my might, breaking it, and he still wouldn't let go.

"Dammit! You're like fucking Freddy Krueger! **You won't fucking _die_**!" I screamed.

He managed to pull me back in his grasp and this time he held me in the choke-hold, with his huge arm wrapped around my neck. He pulled tighter and tighter until I felt the air leaving my system and myself turning purple. He thrashed me around violently as he did, making me hit everything as I scratched and clawed.

I bite down on his arm as hard as I could, locking my jaw and shaking my head like a pit bull trying to tear meat from bone.

He screamed out in agony before releasing me, I immediately grasped my throat to let air back in my system. Before I had time to react, he had me up against the wall again by the throat.

"Leah, Leah stay with me." He said snapping in my face as my head stopped spinning.

"I hope you learned something valuable." He said between breaths, evilly with an ugly devious half smirk. He thought he'd won.

"Yeah, I did…" I said while taking a breath. "I should've never said yes to you." I'd already had the vase that sat on the little table against the wall in my hand, and I smashed it into his head. He fell to the ground. That was it. He was out for the count.

I wiped the blood from my bottom lip shakily while I took one look at the bloody asshole on the floor. I couldn't see his chest moving.

"I'm about to walk out that door Sam. Are you breathing?" I said cruelly before walking into the living room. The baby was still screaming his head off, and he was scared when he saw all the blood on my face. I saw Sam's jacket on the couch and picked it up. I cleaned myself up with it, before tossing it on the floor. I walked over to the baby to try and calm him down.

"Shh…Sammy it's okay…it's okay…mommy's here baby…everything's going to be fine now…I promise."

"Merry Christmas." I said over my shoulder as I picked up his seat and carried him outside, and then I strapped him in the car. I could only pray that the car ride would calm him to sleep like it usually does. After all, this was going to be a long drive.

I got on the highway and started to drive home, a trip I was sure would take about 4 hours give or take. I'd never wanted to move so far away from home, from my family, it was all Sam's idea.

I drove the first few hours in complete silence, alone with my thoughts. As I drove, the weather changed, a snow storm was picking up and there was a light layer of snow on the highway. There were fewer cars out there.

As I drove, all I could think about was Sam, and what he'd do if he found us. I knew I was going to an obvious place, because it'd be the first place he would look. Although it's supposed to be the safest place in world, would I feel save? Would Sammy and I ever be safe? Would we running for the rest of our lives? Was I putting everyone I loved in danger by going back here? Was I even sure I knew what Sam was _really_ capable of?

It was then that I started to doubt everything I was doing, if it was the right decision, and if I was headed to the right place.

And to top it off, it was getting so bad I could barely see out the window and the gas tank was running low.

Some Christmas Eve this turned out to be. It was Sammy's first Christmas, luckily he wouldn't remember most of it.

Unnerved, I turned on the radio to break the silence in the car, and all the stations played Christmas music except for one. To down to get in the** Spirit** I settled for the one that wasn't.

"_**She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati  
On a snow white Christmas Eve  
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy with the baby in the backseat  
Fifty miles to go and she was running low on faith and gasoline  
It'd been a long hard year…"**_

Hearing the truth of these words sent my mind on a trip down memory lane and everything I went through with Sam. I shook my head trying to focus, thinking about how much I had in my purse in case we had to get a hotel room…

I would have to stop somewhere for gas…and soon…

And there was the possibility that Sam could be following us, knowing exactly where we were headed. He had a mustang and drove like a bat out of hell, so I wouldn't have much time to stop in one place…

But where to stop?

As all of these thoughts ran through my mind I stopped paying attention to just how hard I was pressing the gas pedal, and the car was now up to 70 miles per hour in the snow. I blinked suddenly when I saw a set of headlights headed directly for us, and lost control of the car.

I'd hit a thin black sheet of ice that looked like glass and started spinning and I couldn't get back in control, my heart was beating faster than it ever beat before, and tears fell like rivers from my eyes as adrenaline pumped in my system.

I blinked and when I opened my eyes, I was seeing…but I wasn't really seeing.

I saw both our lives flash before me, and it was glorious. I was happy, Sammy was happy, and we were fine. I saw a face constantly with mine, but I couldn't really tell who it was or their facial features. All I know is that Sam was **not** in the picture.

All I could think was, "I have to save Sammy…"

Suddenly something spoke to me, in a calm way, telling me it would be alright. That everything would be fine, all I had to do is let go.

Now _this _scared me half to death. It was the scariest feeling I'd ever experienced in my life. _Let go_? Are you _kidding_ me? Are you serious? Just let go and leave my life and my baby's life in the hands of fate?

Taking a deep breath, I squeezed my eyes shut and threw my hands up in the air with nothing but faith in my heart.

"Jesus, take the wheel…" I whispered in prayer as the car continued to spin.

Suddenly the car stopped spinning and I could control it again. I immediately pulled over on the shoulder and cut it off, trying to catch my breath and calm my heart. I wiped the tears away from my face, panting frantically, trying to prevent myself from hyperventilating and having a panic attack. That was the last thing I needed right now.

I'd only cut the car off for a few minutes but the cold was already setting in. It must've been below zero outside. I wiped the windshield a few times because I saw something in front of the car.

It was a highway sign, and it read that Forks was only 50 miles away. I was almost home to La Push.

I looked to the ceiling in relief and glanced back at Sammy. He was sleeping like a rock. Tears started falling down my cheeks again as I thought of how absolutely lucky we were. I knew I had something to do, something I should've done a long time ago. I hadn't done it in a long time.

I bowed my head to pray. My bottom lip started trembling. "It's…been a long time since we've spoken, huh? But I know you know how I am, and how it was, and the reasons why I couldn't…why I didn't believe anymore. Not like I used to. I gave up. I gave up hope. I gave up on you, and I gave up on myself. And…I'm…I'm sorry for the way…I've been living my life. I know I've got to change…for my son and for myself. I know my life has been pretty messed up to this point...and I just need some help. I need some guidance and faith. So take it from my hands…please just take control. Because I can't do this on my own, not anymore. I'm letting go. I'm walking away from that in hopes that you'll give me one more chance. To save me from the road I was on. So from now on, starting tonight, I promise I will be changed." I said softly as I reached back and stroked Sammy's foot. I just needed to feel some part of him here with me to make sure he was alright.

I said amen and opened my eyes, and things looked different to me. I suddenly had faith. I knew I would make it home. I knew Sam would never be able to touch us again. And I knew we would be just fine.


	4. Chapter 4

As I pulled up, I could see cars parked in front of the house. Most likely, everybody from the reservation was here. They always were, especially for the holidays. My mother always made a big deal out of things, Christmas was one of her favorite holidays, and my dad just gave her whatever made her happy. I missed them terribly.

Taking a deep breath, I got out of the car and unstrapped the car seat from the backseat. Sammy was still sort of drowsy from all the commotion, but he would be fully awake in a few seconds.

I walked up the walkway to the red door, something my dad and I painted together when I was 10. I looked at the sign that hung over it, "The Clearwaters." It made me smile.

I took a deep breath and knocked three times, unaware that I was still holding that breath.

My little brother answered the door laughing, barely paying attention to who I was. When he took a good look at me his face fell. He was taller than me now though he was only sixteen, I guess I'd been away to long. I now had to look up at him.

"Oh my god…Leah?" He looked shocked and scared at the same time. I knew Sam had beat me up pretty bad, but I didn't know I looked _that _horrible.

"Merry Christmas Seth…can we come in?" I asked in a small voice, uncomfortable with the way he was looking at me.

"S-sure! Come on, it's freezing outside get in here…MOM! Come quick!" He screamed at the top of his lungs pulling us in, and I really wished he hadn't. I didn't want attention. He pulled me into a hug and I winced.

"Oh my god…Leah…what happened to you? Who did this?" He said as he hugged me tight, I could feel hot tears falling onto my sweater.

"Ow Sethy…it hurts…" I complained before he let me go and I placed Sammy's car seat on the ground, clutching at my stomach again.

"Oh shit! Sorry, I didn't mean—"

"It's okay…I'm a tough girl…" I said through short breaths as he stuttered frantically asking if I was okay. Yeah, he looked like grown man, but he was still jumpy little Seth.

I was finally able to stand straight to see that his expression had changed, and he was seething. He was furious.

"I'll kill him." He said through clenched teeth.

"Kill who?" But before I had the chance to calm Seth down my mom and dad walked into the room.

"Leah…Leah is that you?" My mom spoke softly as if she was looking at a ghost, her voice was breaking and her eyes were watering. Silently she ran over to me and wrapped her arms around me, but I didn't protest her like I'd done with Seth, because I needed my mother's hug.

"Lee-Lee…my baby…my baby…" That was all she said.

You see, Sue Clearwater wasn't a very emotional woman. That's where I got my stubbornness and attitude from. She was the strongest person I'd ever met, apart from my dad; I just wish it hadn't taken so long for me to find the strength I knew they gave me.

She stepped back and softly placed a hand on my cheek, taking in the damage of my face. I'd checked myself out in the mirror in the car before I came in, so I knew what she was seeing. My face was swollen, my forehead had a gash, my nose was most likely broken, and I had hand marks on my neck like someone tried to choke the life out of me. Which they had really tried to do to me.

The music coming from the living room continued playing and I could hear people singing, laughing, and talking, completely oblivious to what was happening. I picked up Sammy and carried him into the kitchen, not wanting to be discovered by party guests.

They followed me, and placed him on the counter to take him out the seat.

"Look, I know you guys have a lot of questions and I promise I'll answer them in the morning. I just…I really want to be alone for a while. But I love you, you can't imagine how much I missed you, and I can't tell you how happy I am to be home right now." I kissed each other their cheeks and they gave me my space. I was warming up Sammy's bottle so we could go upstairs and go to bed when I heard someone walk into the kitchen.

"Leah…Leah is that you?" I turned around at the voice, I didn't know them but they certainly knew me.

"Yeah…do I know you?" The guy was tall and had brown eyes, with black hair that came to his shoulders like most the guys on the rez did. He had a big bright smile and it was sort of contagious because I felt the corners of my mouth turn up a little. Just a little.

"Aw come on I know I look a little different, but don't say you don't remember me." He laughed, and his laugh sounded so familiar to me. After looking at him for a few more seconds, I remembered.


	5. Chapter 5

"Oh my gosh…Jacob! You grew! Finally!" I said teasing him in the light tone I'd always used when we were kids and we would play around.

"Yeah, just eat a couple wheaties and what do you know." He said sarcastically, making me laugh.

"Are you…alright?" He asked with uncertainty, and suddenly I was brought back to reality. My hand immediately flew up to my face and I turned my back to him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said, testing the bottle on my hand.

He knew I wasn't, and I knew I wasn't, but luckily he let it go.

"I don't think they were expecting you home, Sue didn't mention anything about it…" He said, leaning against the fridge. I chanced a glance over my shoulder to check him out. God, when did Jacob Black get hot? He was no longer the geeky dweeb who my little brother used to follow around behind like a pet golden retriever, who would always tag along when me and his older sister Rachel would hang out for god knows what reason. He always came over my house, but he never stayed with just Seth. He would always try to follow Rachel into my room.

"It was a surprise." I said deciding the milk wasn't warm enough, sticking the bottle back in the microwave for a few more seconds. Sammy whined a little so I cooed at him and tickled him a little to calm him down.

"So is Sam here? Because I heard you guys got engaged and well…um…had a baby." He said, uncertain of himself again. I visibly stiffened at the mention of Sam's name, and I don't think it slipped by him. "I came alone. Sam and I aren't together anymore." I said softly, yet it felt so good saying it. It felt…_freeing_.

There was an awful silence in the room as he scratched his head, trying to think of what to say next.

"So uh…I brought you a Christmas present. Everybody said I was crazy for bringing it tonight because you never show up and I would just end up having to mail it to you…but…I felt…I kind of hoped…I knew…you would show up." He said as he shakily handed over the gift.

"You didn't have to do this Jacob." I said, looking at the package in my hands.

"I know Lee-Lee…I wanted to." He said softly, and I didn't cringe at the sound of the same nickname that Sam used to call me. The truth was, Jacob called me that ever since he was a baby because Leah was too hard for him to say. It really was his first.

I nodded before opening the gift. When I saw what it was, my eyes started tearing up.

"Jake…this is…amazing." I said breathlessly.

It was a picture of me, Seth, Jacob, and Rachel all together smiling when we were kids. We were about 11, Jake was about 10, and Seth was about 8. Rachel and I were in the center locked at the arm, tight as the sisters we were, and Jacob was on my side while Seth was on hers. We both had our arms around their shoulders. I remembered this day exactly. We'd decided we wanted to trade little brothers for a day, to see if it was better on the other side. Well let me tell you, it wasn't. I thought Seth's Star Wars action figures were annoying, but Jacob's remote control classic cars were much worse. I swear, I can still hear that annoying whirring sound that those damn things make as they speed off. After about an hour, I stole the batteries out of all the cars and made him cry. When I gave them back and said sorry to make him stop crying, he kissed me on the lips. Come to think of it, that was my first kiss. But then after I told him that sisters and brother s don't kiss, he agreed and made Rachel switch back so he could do it again. Of course, by then I didn't want to, the moment had passed.

"Jacob…Jake this is so wonderful…it's the best gift I've ever gotten." I ran my finger over Rachel's face, I missed her smile. She died of Leukemia when we were just 14, and it killed me to lose my best friend. It killed Jake to lose a sister. But we were all there for each other. In the back of my mind, I knew that Rachel wouldn't have approved of my relationship with Sam from the very beginning. But I didn't listen. I should've.

He saw me tearing up, and came to wrap his arms around me. What usually scared me or forced me to shy away didn't this time. Jake's hug was warm, and soothing. It felt like the something that I needed in my life, the something that'd been missing. Strangely enough, I wrapped my arms around his waist and his grip on me tightened only slightly. But it was enough for me to feel the emotion he was trying to convey.

I looked up in his eyes, and he looked down in mine. I felt the static between us, it was buzzing like a live-wire. Suddenly something above his head caught my eye. His eyes followed mine, and he noticed it too.

"Mistletoe." He said. He looked back down at me with the sexiest half smirk I've ever seen.

"So since I got you something and you didn't get me anything, I guess you kind of owe me a present right?" He said confidently. And there was the dweeb Jacob I grew up with. He was just trapped in a grown, sexy man's body.

"Yeah, I guess that I kind of do." I replied.

"Well, can my present be a kiss?"

I smiled. "As long as you don't steal it this time." I said smartly.

"In my defense, I would steal my first kiss from that same beautiful girl I used to follow around like a love-sick puppy all those years ago over and over again, if it meant she'd be mine one day. I knew I loved her then."

I couldn't believe my ears. Was he serious? "First kiss?" I asked.

"Yep, my very first kiss. And I wouldn't trade it for the world, or all the remote control cars in the state of Washington." He said with that same half smirk.

"It was my first too." I told him bravely.

"Well please, allow me the chance to do it right…" He said before slowly leaning in closing the distance between us. His lips finally touched mine, and I felt like I was on fire. It was so soft, and so gentle, yet so sweet and it said so much without words. It was quick, but it was a moment that would last forever. After we broke apart, he kissed each one of my bruises on my face softly, before pecking my lips again. It was a silent gesture, but it said and meant everything.

The old antique clock, an exact replica of the one I had on my wall at Sam's place, struck midnight and it began to play music.

"_**Christmas eve will find me  
Where the love light gleams  
I'll be home for Christmas  
And you'll be in my dreams  
I'll be home for Christmas  
Till then you'll be in my dreams."**_

Jacob looked her deep in her eyes with a smile that made her entire being just melt. "Merry Christmas, Leah." He said softly.

Suddenly, it all made sense. It all clicked into place. The face, the one I saw when my life flashed before my eyes…it was Jake's. Now I got why Rachel used to let Jacob tag along all those times, what she was trying to do. She knew that some day I would end up with her brother…she wanted it that way. I smiled at my shocking realization, finally accepting that everything _**would**_ be okay.

"Yeah Jake…it _is_ a Merry Christmas." I said happily.

* * *

**I hope you liked it! I suppose, if I got enough reviews, I could continue with Jake & Leah's story--of course, you know, Sam would just HAVE to make a cameo appearance. But this story hits really close to home for a whole plethora of reasons, and I wanted to stress the fact that domestic violence is such a real issue. A lot of the things Sam said as he abused Leah are a lot of the things said to victims, and this story was nearly as real as it could get. You should all also understand that abuse is not always physical. No one should have that kind of power over you, be it mentally, physically, or emotionally. Leah is my favorite character and I chose her because of this, but also because she's also one of the stronger female characters in the series. That's why I chose her over Bella, or Alice, or Emily. Although I think I will be having a story with Rosalie really soon, my next favorite character. Just know that we all have a bit of Leah Orenda Clearwater in all of us, and when we get tired--and I mean really tired, I mean SICK and tired--we will do something about it. KNOW that you have the POWER to do something about it. KNOW that you have the power to make that change. **

**To learn more about domestic violence, visit www/domesticviolence/org (of course you know to replace the slashes with dots)**

**Alright, I'm off my soapbox. The after-school special is over. Now how about those reviews?**


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